Sunday, January 8, 2012

For Love Of Chocolate

Twelve twelve. In the morning. After midnight. Sitting here in my jammies with a breathe right strip on my nose and the electric blanket asking where I am and the dog snoring at my feet instead of in her crate where he belongs. All because of chocolate.

I was all ready to go to sleep. I even practiced first in my recliner in front of the TV to see if I was up to it. Yep, I was good at it. I opened one eye, got out of the chair, and wandered back to our bedroom. But when I turned on the bathroom light to brush my teeth, I woke up. Rats. So I hung up some of the clothes still exploded out of our suitcases after our trip last week. Then I washed a few dishes so the kitchen would be clean when I get up . . . in a few hours. And then I got hungry. For chocolate.

What is it about chocolate that makes me grab a spoon in one hand and an ice cream dish in the other, knowing I’ll have to go brush my teeth again? My husband doesn’t crave it—he likes it, but he’d rather eat a banana most of the time. And I know bananas sound healthier, but chocolate has recently admitted to being a super food. Any day now, I think it will get its own triangle in the Food Pyramid.

Don’t believe me? Well, grab some M&M’s and follow along, ‘cuz this is the best news since the creation of Pinterest.

Chocolate is good for your heart. Even the one that beats in your chest.

Chocolate is an anti-oxidant. It can’t clean your clothes, but it can clean out the free radical riff raff loitering in your body.

Chocolate is comforting. Ever heard of serotonin? It was invented by chocolate.

Chocolate is a stimulant. Which is why it’s twelve thirty-one now and I’m awake and still coherent.

Chocolate can lower your blood pressure. I keep some right by the phone just in case certain relatives call.

Chocolate’s flavonoids balance hormones. Which is why my husband carries them in his pocket at all times—self protection.

Chocolate is made up of two parts good fat to one part not so good fat. Which says to me that one third of the good fat cancels out the one third of the bad fat leaving a final third of good fat which means: chocolate is good for you.

Chocolate makes me happy. It stimulates endorphin production. I can get a runner’s high without getting sweaty just by enjoying a Dove chocolate bar.

And finally, chocolate tastes good. And even though I’m addicted to it, the main reason I eat it now is because it’s so good for me. And my marriage. And my relatives. And society at large. Everyone is safer if I eat chocolate.

It really is a super food. It deserves its own superhero comic strip. It already has a whole town in Pennsylvania named after it. I’m petitioning for a holiday in its honor. I think it could even be President.

So now you know my two addictions: chocolate and blogging about chocolate. One eleven. In the a.m. You’re not even up reading this. So why am I up writing this?

Sigh. Because of chocolate.

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