Thursday, May 24, 2012

Robots


It looked like an innocent box.  Blank, inviting, embellished with one simple word, “Comment”.  They really want my opinion?  I'm full of it!

I rubbed my hands together gleefully, filled up the little box with complete sentences, and clicked the virtual button marked “Submit.”
That’s when everything went wrong.
I get it.  I know I have to ‘sign in’ before they’ll let me leave my electronic John Hancock on somebody’s blog.  I have to sign in before I can leave something on my blog.  Once in a while I’m even successful. 
But now there’s an extra hoop they make you jump through—you have to make sense out of two globs that look more like Egytian hieroglyphics than letters, reproduce them correctly, and then, and only then, will your forgettable remarks be displayed on somebody’s cyber wall.
Nobody cares about my opinion that much.
They didn’t want me to get grumpy about the extra step, so they tried to make a joke out of it:  Please prove you’re not a robot . . . Type the two words.” 
Why? Do I look like a robot?  Do robots really have freckles and wrinkles?  And what do you mean those are words?  Are you serious?  Those are not words.  Those are leftover letters in a Scrabble game.  Soggy pasta in my alphabet soup.  Or maybe the VIN number on an early Ford.  But they definitely are not words.  Therefore, I cannot type them. 
I know this because I tried.
And I failed.

"The characters you entered did not match the word verification. Please try again.”

So I did.  Again.  And again. 
ccolso or ccol8o  or ceol8u?   space space space   cciuona or ccivrSomething  or ceiuqrn. .o. .a ???  
My gosh!  Can anybody figure out these fonts?   Well, that’s my best guess.  So I’ll click:
                                                      ‘Publish

“Three out of four of us think your real name is R2D2.  Try again. Type the two words.”

Wise guys.  Fine.  You want a code, I'll give you a code . . .
MtaiMA  space space space   OnLu  no, wait, Onl1A , Ah, geez.  Squint, turn laptop to the side . . .  OnLAxuC, I mean, lXzC . . .
Forget it.  I don’t even remember what I was doing here in the first place.  And now I’m blind.
I think the only people who can decipher these alien codes are aliens.  And why am I taking orders from Google anyway?  Don’t they work for me?  I think before I sign in or decipher or trust them with my free opinions, Google needs to prove to me that they aren’t robots.
Oh.  Right.  Never mind.

Okay, Google the Hut. Just—take me to your leader.  Maybe he speaks English.

4 comments:

  1. I hate those things! I wish they chose real words. Or they didn't twist and obscure the letters. I think it's a plot! Especially since, in order to comment here, I'm about to have to look at them myself!

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  2. Are you kidding?! I had no idea you have to fill out one of those things on MY blog! I'm devastated. I am part of the problem. You're a trooper, though! And my hero. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, your blog has them, too. They are everywhere. Just as long as I can start my car or open my refrigerator without having to fill in one of those things, I can deal with them.

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    2. Maybe I SHOULD have one of them on my refrigerator. Better than a personal trainer, that idea!

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