Sunday, June 17, 2012

Gator Breath

Talk about adding insult to injury.  That’s what happens when law enforcement follows the letter of the law right into an unholy state of stupid.  
A southwest Florida airboat captain was giving an Indiana family a tour of the Everglades last Tuesday, when he hung a fish over the side of the boat, his hand still at the water’s surface. Now that’s just not bright.  I live in the desert and even I know to keep my hands inside a boat at all times. 
Suddenly, an opportunistic alligator saw the two-for-one lunch special, grabbed at the fish, and bit off more than he could chew—yeah, that's right. The airboat captain lost his steering hand. It was later retrieved from the animal’s stomach after the animal was tracked and . . . dispatched.  Unfortunately, its  retrieval was too little too late.  Now it’s only useful to the captain as a souvenir of a very bad day.
A criminal investigation is pending.  Turns out it’s against the law to ‘hand feed’ the wildlife.  Offering food to alligators is a second-degree misdemeanor.
Bet he doesn’t make that mistake again.

I think he's suffered enough and they should drop the charges.  He did the crime, he paid the fine.  I say they should let bygones be bygones.
After all, that was one rude 'gator—everyone knows it’s not nice to bite the hand that feeds you.


  1. Oh Eula, you are funny! This is a great story.

    1. Thanks, Liz! As long as stories like this keep showing up in the press, I'll have lots to blog about, huh? This one cracked me up too much to ignore!