Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Slugs On A Porch

Overheard on the back porch this humid morning in Florida:

There’re some slugs eating the vanilla orchids out there.
I heard the way to get rid of slugs is to half bury a bottle of beer in the ground and then . . . .
A whole bottle of beer??
We just pour some in custard dishes . . .
. . . or a shallow pan . . .
. . . yeah, set ‘em around the yard, and they just crawl in. You’d be amazed how many you’ll find in there the next morning.
Me:  Do they just drown in the beer?
Yeah, they get so drunk they can’t climb back out again.
There’s nothing worse than a drunk snail.
Oh, I think they hyperventilate.  Their muscle relaxes and . . .
They gain so much weight drinking the beer that they have a heart attack.
The vast majority of drunk slugs die in accidents, like a near drowning.
The lesson here is don’t fill your pool with beer or you’ll become  a slug.  A drunk slug.
Yeah, nothing worse.

Duck Dynasty's got nothin' on Florida Cracker conversations.

THanks to LisaClarke's Photostream for the photo

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