Monday, January 14, 2013

A Necessary Proclamation

WHEREAS, modern science has underestimated the public health threat of annual Common Colds and;
WHEREAS, there is no fundraising organization dedicated to the annihilation of the Common Cold and;
WHEREAS, antibiotics are ineffective against the virus referred to as the Common Cold, else they would be named antivirotics and;
WHEREAS, physicians never report personally contracting the Common Cold despite daily contact with dozens of donors and;
WHEREAS, evidence of the perfection of the immune system of physicians has been suppressed from the Common Public, lending itself to suspicion that either
1.      the Common Cold is a financial friend to physicians or
2.      physicians are immune to the Rhinovirus because they are in actuality space aliens and;
WHEREAS, it is offensive to humans to have their personal noses compared to rhinos and;
WHEREAS, the Rhinovirus has set up habitation in the primary legal residence of the undersigned who shall be known hereafter as the Wife and the Husband and;
WHEREAS, the only certainty in life is death and taxes and there is no cure for either one and;
WHEREAS, science and physicians and antibiotics and death and taxes have been proven to inhibit helpful advice for those with inflamed rhinos;
RESOLVED, that in an effort to combat the Common Cold by the Wife and by the Husband and thereby increase the stock holdings of companies with substantial interest in perpetuating the Rhinovirus, Robitussin and Kleenex and Ayr Saline Spray and Ricola and Ibuprofen are recognized for their efforts to destroy both the Rhinovirus and the personal savings account of the Wife and the Husband; and be it further
RESOLVED, that the offspring of the Wife and the Husband should invest in the stock market with special attention to the purchase of stock in the aforementioned pharmaceutical companies else there should be no reasonable expectation of an inheritance in the natural passing of the Wife and the Husband as a result of the consequences of having contracted the Common Cold;
THEREFORE, it is hereto proclaimed that RHINO Day-2013, January 14th , be recognized as a day when the Wife and the Husband have had enough of the Rhinovirus and further declare it to be fair game.
In Perpetuity.
Amen.                




Photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicolaavery/4907205936/in/photostream/

2 comments:

  1. Still? You're not going to miss the Cuteness Bowl are you? We need you there!

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    1. Nah . . . I'm pretty much over it, but it's hit Rob with a vengeance now. I'm now on the defensive against a reacquaintance with it while he is in full combat armor, fighting from the trenches. Gross trenches. :p I'm coming prepared tonight to carry out his orders for the table topics at the Cuteness Bowl. :)

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