Thursday, February 14, 2013

Registration, Please!

I think I’ve seen everything.

Well, not quite everything, but too much.  I don’t even know what to say. But you can bet your spare car key, I’m gonna give it my best shot here anyway.
Tonight on national television capitalism hit an all-time low. An automaker introduced—via a ‘this makes perfect sense’ professional voiceover—an “entirely new way of purchasing a car.”  Gone are savings accounts and personal checks. Or, in our case, personal auto loans.

Nope. Now you can customize a brand spanking new automobile, sign up on a website that "works like a wedding registry", and invite a few dozen of your closest friends and family to "Please please sponsor part of my car as . . . "  a wedding gift/birthday gift/guilt trip.  Fill in the cyber blank.
I.Am.Not.Kidding.  And neither were they.  I waited through the whole commercial for a punch line that never happened.
The ad says,
“Dad sponsors the engine for your birthday. Grandma sponsors the rims for graduation. The car gets funded. Then you pick up your new car at the dealership. And all that’s left to do is say ‘thanks’. Easy.”
Yeah. Easy and irresponsible and wrong at more levels than a Pac-Man game.
Maybe I’m being too old fashioned.  Everyone's busy and it's so hard to shop for people anyway.  And now if this idea catches on, it could simplify the whole birthday gift thing. If your friends and family really love you, they’ll all chip in to buy you a new twenty thousand dollar car.  Then all that’s left for you to do is say “That Was Easy.  Thanks.”
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "car registration", doesn't it?
I don’t know if I should thank Staples or Dodge for this stellar idea.  But I’m taking back all the nice things I said about that ‘God made a farmer’ commercial Dodge ran during the Super Bowl. I don’t know any farmers who teach their kids that the way to be successful in life is to ask other people to fund it for you.
I feel better now. Thanks.

That was easy.


  1. Gee, I don't have to worry about whether I have a job or not. My friends can fund my mortgage, the dog food, and all of my bills. Excellent!

    LOL Silly, completely silly.

    1. I wish we'd known about this idea sooner. I'd have asked people to fund Rob's retirement so we could bask in Bermuda instead of melting in the desert. We'd send them all a thank you postcard, of course.

      Oh Dodge, Dodge, Dodge. You really should have dodged that genius idea.

  2. Is it too late to register for our mortgage? I feel like my clothing and shoe budget would have a lot more wiggle room if someone else would pay for this silly house. What saddens me is that this idea of people owing you something has become so pervasive. Please slap me if I ever get so ridiculous.

    1. Deal. And ditto. We'll just meet for coffee and have ourselves a l'il ol' slapfest. I just wish we could get the CEO's of Dodge to join us.