I’m not that good at being logical. A friend told me once that if you worry about what could happen and then it doesn’t happen, you worried for nothing. But even if it does happen, then you suffered twice. I looked at her like she was speaking Cantonese.
It’s hard to reform a worrier.
All those ‘what ifs’ that fly around over my head like juggler’s plates—I’ve gotta keep ‘em spinning, you know, or they all come crashing . . . . DOWN!!
Somebody distracted me. Barely a week after Nathan dropped by. Suddenly I was really down. Inconsolable again. And then . . .
Oh, you guessed it, didn’t you?
The doorbell rang. At night. In the heat. For the third time.
Did you know God often does things in three’s? To make a point? To prove that He’s the One with His finger on the doorbell?
Well, I wasn’t about to answer it. I didn’t look any better this night than the last time a stranger interrupted my tears.
So Rob did.
“If it’s another bug guy, ask him what his name is!” I shouted after him, still sobbing into my Kleenex.
Well, I may be afraid but I still have instincts.
He was gone a long time. I could hear him talking with the man at the door, asking questions like he always does, playing cat and mouse with salesmen so they’ll think he just might buy whatever they’re selling. Finally, the guy at the door got tired of the game, and asked to come inside to use our bathroom.
Rob showed him the way, and then walked through the family room where I was mopping up mascara on the sofa and whispered in my ear,
“It’s another bug guy and his name is Chase.”
Well—I may not have remembered who Caleb was, but I was pretty sure Chase is neither Hebrew nor Biblical.
Figures, I thought. And I could have really used some Holy Raid tonight. The devil was bugging me big time.
A few minutes later Rob showed the guy to the door and came back to sit beside me on the couch.
“Well,” he asked, “did you look it up?”
“There’s no Chase in the Bible!” I said in exasperation.
“How do you know?” he retorted.
“So, what should I google? Chase and the Bible?”
Oh me of little faith.
Chase shows up a lot in the Bible. That’s because ‘chase’ is a verb. Sometimes it’s a command. And the Bible is full of stories about people like me who were always being ‘chased’ by some scary somebody or other.
But this is the verse God chased me into reading:
“But you will chase your enemies and they will fall before you by the sword.” Leviticus 26:7
Yes, indeed. By a tiny little sword in the hands of a surgeon with the last name CHASE who had removed the cancer in my uterus a few days earlier and told me yesterday that she got it all.
God kept telling me. Again and again He told me to take courage and expect Him to show up.
I’d like to tell you I’m a reformed worrier, but in all honesty I can’t. So instead, I’ll tell you this—God keeps His promises and goes out of His way to comfort the hearts of people like me.
I’d also like to thank the inventor of the doorbell. The house may disintegrate around me, but I will always make sure the doorbell works. And there will never be a "No Solicitors" sign on our door. They're welcome here anytime.
Especially bug guys.
Especially bug guys.
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14
Photo courtesy of neosnaps' photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/29674401@N00/2574417351