Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Flea Market Junkie

I don’t know how to say this.  I’m hooked on watching American Pickers.  Don’t you think that’s irrational? I could blame it on my current state of invalidism—well, that might be a pun, but I’ll have to think about it—but the truth is I know the show’s airtimes by heart.
I might need a Picker intervention.
Why do I get such a kick out of this show? It’s voyeuristic flea marketing from the comfort of my living room, that’s why. It probably satisfies some kind of virtual garage sale-ing need in me so I don’t have to get up at o-dark-thirty on a Saturday morning.
I love the stars of this show, Mike and Frank. They’re kind of like Abbott and Costello of the back roads of Iowa, their home base. They “free style” all across the country, searching out forgotten antiques and bantering like brothers.  They “make a living telling the history of America, one piece at a time.” 
Their enthusiasm would be contagious except I’m allergic to climbing into underground tunnels with crazy hermits to find a rusty toy for sale.  And you’ll never catch me bungling around cobweb-frosted barn attics, fending off brown recluses and deadly snakes just to pull out the rusty guts of some ancient third world motorcycle. 
My granddad was a garage sale junkie.  Every Saturday he went to the local flea market and bought anything there that was broken.  Then he brought it back home and stashed it in a metal storage shed in his backyard where he thought my grandmother would never notice.  She did. And she hated it.
One weekend while he was gone, she and I conspired to rid her life of his broken garbage. We spent the morning raiding his shed and donating a bunch of it to a nearby landfill.  He wasn’t happy but he recovered quickly. By the next week you’d have never known we trespassed at all.  It was like a tide of debris had his name on speed dial—we took it out in the evening and he brought it back by morning.
To this day I hate piles of junk.  That’s how I know I’d have never survived The Great Depression. I’d have given away all the rusty bailing wire and worn out bicycle tires right before we needed them to patch the hole in our roof. 
I don’t know if I have no imagination or if it’s just a lack of foresight, but I can tell you throwing things out is so therapeutic! It’s like tossing bad choices in the trash. Hate those shoes? Pitch ‘em, my mom used to say. Fed up with all that orange Tupperware? Toss it in the trash. You know your kids will never make a collage from that stack of expensive magazines you read one time, so go ahead—feed the recycler!
Ooh, I feel better just thinking about it. And you know what? With all these endorphins flowing, I think I’m cured of those Pickers!
Of course, I’m still stuck in a chair for a while longer. And now I have to find a new favorite show to pass the time.  Maybe there’s nothing wrong with re-runs of two likeable guys from Iowa after all. You’ve gotta admit—it’s better than getting hooked on Toddlers & Tiaras.
Rationalization. The opiate of invalids.




Photo courtesy of v i p e z's photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/69367147@N00/6590131433

12 comments:

  1. I'd like to enjoy some of that therapy. I am not a fan of clutter but I am married to someone who has a hard time getting rid of anything. "I'll fix it sometime." "I can still wear it." "Who care if it doesn't match the other plates; it's still in one piece." Grrr...

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    1. Hmmm . . . well, you could try what my grandma and I did, but it didn't go unnoticed. Still, if it's gone, it's gone, but the peace might go with it . . . On the upside, if there's ever a hole in your roof, he probably has what it takes to patch it up!

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  2. I like "AmericanPickers" too and have a new favorite: "Flea Market Flip". I like taking old stuff and upcycling. But you are also right about getting rid of clutter. it is liberating! Happy 4th Of July!

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    1. Wow, all my vices are being named here today! I love Flea Market Flip just like I enjoy Pinterest - I scan through the great ideas they offer and then promptly forget about them. Good for you for following their lead - maybe we'll see you on their show sometime! Happy 4th to you and your family, too!

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  3. LOL! We started with American Pickers and have advanced to the next level of voyeuristic flea marketing with Storage Wars.

    You are so correct though! Anything is better than being hooked on Toddlers & Tiaras

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    1. Ha ha ha!! Oh, wait. We watch both of them. At the same time. When one goes to commercial, we flip to the . . other . . . If you find an intervention group, give me a call. :)

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  4. This cracked me up, Eula. I am MasterChef addict--the US and the UK versions! I also love So You Think You Can Dance, because the way they dance in reality is how I dance in my own head. ;)

    And yes, absolutely, all of these are far preferable to Toddlers & Tiaras!

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    1. I know, right? I think a lot of reality shows are wholesome family entertainment. My one requirement is that they make me feel good - like your dancing show. And if they teach you to dance in your head, all the better! I'm just glad no one has written me yet that they love Toddlers & Tiaras. Who comes up with that stuff? :)

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  5. American Pickers came to Lewiston last year, I think. Have you seen that episode?

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    1. What?!! No, I didn't see that one - I'll keep an eye out!!

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  6. I am a clutterbug. Maybe The Pickers could come to my house and help me out.

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    1. They pay for anything they cart off, too. Sounds like an easy way to make a few extra bucks. ;)

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