Soliloquy

noun. 

A monologue delivered when the character is alone.

I remember most the first time and the last time he told me he loved me. Neither time did he say it out loud. I still have the card from fifty years ago—how can that much time have passed?—when I read in his handwriting those startling words.

I love you.  ~ Roby. 

He’d never said it to me. I’d never said it to him. And then he gave me that card and watched as I read it.

It changed everything.

In between that first and last were all the other times. The whispered declarations, the quick phone good-byes with the “amen” of lovers— I love you. The cards and poems he wrote, and always the look in those eyes that captured my heart long ago.

Finally, the last time. Dying. Unable to say a word because of medical intervention. His eyes strained to see me and hold my gaze, making sure I understood. And then the physical struggle to mouth what his voice could not express. I love you. The last time he told me.

It changed everything.